In their book on friendship, Liz Spencer and Ray Pahl identified 8 different types (based on their research).

Associates were people who only shared a common activity, like a hobby or a sport. Useful contacts were people who shared information and advice, typically related to work or advancing ones career. Favor friends were people who helped each other out in a functional manner, but not in an emotional manner. Fun friends were people who socialized together, but only for fun. They didn’t provide each other with a deep level of emotional support. Helpmates were a combination of favor friends and fun friends. They socialized together and helped each other out in a functional manner. Comforters were like helpmates, but they also provided emotional support. Confidants disclosed personal information to each other, enjoyed each other’s company, but weren’t always in a position to offer practical help, for example if they lived far away. Soulmates displayed all of the elements.

Which types of friendships are you targeting?

Selected comments

Anatoliy Milner

July 22, 2010 at 7:47 am

Paul, thank you. However, I think this classification of friends is a little bit uncompleted as well as your consideration of this problem in your slide-show. For example, what about relatives, coworkers, online friends moved from offline, etc. I research this issue a couple of years and write on “virtual friendship” in context of “social” Internet future at my blog (unfortunately, in Russian only). Last my post on this topic is “Social labyrinth, or What is a friend’s weight?” http://amilner.itechbridge.com/2010/07/20/social-labyrinth/ . It’s regarding your last posts and your future book. You could understand what I want to say if read attachment in English to the post.

Christopher S. Rollyson

September 13, 2010 at 9:24 pm

Paul, thanks for sharing; we need many more conversations like this! My hypothesis is that digital social networks give us unprecedented choice of people with whom to have relationships, but very few humans have EVER been good at choosing and managing complex relationship webs (“social networks”). Why? Because geo and social position largely dictated with whom we interacted. IOW, we aren’t supposed to be good at this. As an exec and long-time networker and coach, i have remarked on this but only recently it because obvious (after reading Dunbar). People aren’t good at offline networking, and online is even more difficult for them because they aren’t aware of how to do it face to face, so transferring to a digital process is even harder. Cheers

erancore | Pearltrees

January 21, 2012 at 10:21 am

[...] Eight types of friendship » THINK OUTSIDE IN Fun friends were people who socialized together, but only for fun. They didn’t provide each other with a deep level of emotional support. Helpmates were a combination of favor friends and fun friends. They socialized together and helped each other out in a functional manner. Favor friends were people who helped each other out in a functional manner, but not in an emotional manner. Comforters were like helpmates, but they also provided emotional support. [...]

My thoughts on Different type of Friends | Mentyzee's Blog October 12, 2012 at 10:55 am

[...] Hi readers, ( i really wanna know who actually read my blog posts), i am just curious ya know .hehehe it is 4:30 am , where maybe some people just woke up and getting ready to work or maybe there are people at the other side of the planet is working? taking nap? or more… and i am supposed to be on my bed and sleep tightly and cover myself with my warmiee winnie the pooh blanket … i tried to force myself to sleep since 2:30, i lied on my bed and played my tablets till 3:30 am .. and i still don’t feel tired at all. i have been thinking a lot. really a lot .or somehow my mind is wandering around and i could not focus at all … at some point, i am thinking about my parents, my future, my future husband, people around me, random faces and moreeee.. i was just over-thinking. think too much and sometimes is not necessary at all ..i should just stay focus on myself. what i should do and who i want to be …(is it sound selfish) okay, so what do i really want to talk about? okay look, i wanna talk about soul mates, real friends and real buddy so i went to google and typed “different type of friends” so the first  webpage shown me this http://www.thinkoutsidein.com/blog/2010/04/eight-types-of-friendship/ [...]

Wisdom Wednesday | Pathway to Spiritual Rebirth

May 21, 2014 at 5:05 pm

[…] Associates were people who only shared a common activity, like a hobby or a sport. Useful contacts were people who shared information and advice, typically related to work or advancing ones career.Favor friends were people who helped each other out in a functional manner, but not in an emotional manner. Fun friends were people who socialized together, but only for fun. They didn’t provide each other with a deep level of emotional support. Helpmates were a combination of favor friends and fun friends. They socialized together and helped each other out in a functional manner. Comforters were like helpmates, but they also provided emotional support. Confidants disclosed personal information to each other, enjoyed each other’s company, but weren’t always in a position to offer practical help, for example if they lived far away. Soulmates displayed all of the elements.http://www.thinkoutsidein.com/blog/2010/04/eight-types-of-friendship/ […]

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